Get more life insurance and avoid buffets

January 21, 2009
Many people have been accused of bragging about their health problems and their grandchildren in that order. I love to talk about my grandgirls, Gracie and Marie. My medical record is my own personal business. Here is a story that I just have to tell:

While eating breakfast in a hotel dining room in Naples, Fla., I heard a man who looked half my age announce that his cholesterol was 350. His plate was full with at least three servings of scrambled eggs and a mound of bacon. He had a side dish loaded with sausage gravy. Did I mention that it was a free buffet?

The young man was loud enough to be heard five tables away. He laughed his way through the eggs and bacon while proclaiming that he refuses to take cholesterol medications. His grade school-age children and 30-something wife sat the table across from him while he discussed the condition of his arteries with a complete stranger.

I wanted to find a stale, dry, bran muffin and shove it in his mouth. His wife made a big deal about the children eating a non-sugar cereal and going without maple syrup on their waffles because "it wasn't good for them."

FYI -- a person with a cholesterol reading over 200 is considered a potential cardiac high risk. This blood level reading is not the complete story. A trained professional requires more specific readings to properly analyze the danger of heart-related problems.

The loud man was announcing that he plans to use diet and exercise to control his cholesterol. Since this incident occurred at the beginning of January, he resolved to visit the gym more often and lose about 40 pounds. Good for him.

I listened to his bravado and watched his lovely wife cringe at his words. I asked my own dear husband, "What should I do?" The guy was being a jerk and he was letting the entire breakfast crowd get a glimpse of an obnoxious personality.

Here are a few things I wanted to say: "Get a life and stop gloating over an unhealthy lab value;" "Buy yourself more life insurance -- your wife will need it;" "Go outside and start exercising now or I will chase you down with broccoli spears and bananas;" "I'm aiming for your heart with this oatmeal bran cereal that I have loaded in my straw, ready to blow your way;" and "Have you hugged your dietitian today?"

Have you ever met a person like that? They are so ignorant of healthy facts that they embarrass everyone around them. Against my better judgment I left the dining room in silence.

Diet and exercise can help decrease an elevated cholesterol level. The healthy combination of active movement and a healthy weight, all while eating a low-fat meal plan, will reduce the risk of heart disease.

If you know someone who talks a lot about changing health habits but continues to abuse their body in spite of elevated lab values, I know that life is difficult. Get them to eat more fiber; they may have problems with constipation. Also, think about increasing their life insurance policy and avoid breakfast buffets.